Just wana talk about him ;)

Did I mention bout our anniversary?
I think I did, well nevermind.
You sees him more often chilling with his friend rather than cooling than me.
I don't know, he seldom show love to me guess the more we get along the more we're not looking for each other.
It's not a sad story, because I think 37 months is quite a big deal for me. I always love him from the bottom of my heart. He told me that before, all I thought was he was a nice boyfriend, my best friend and my life. Not to say life yet because I'm only 17. I think my mom knows about it either. So, I guess I don't have to hide anymore. Trust me, hiding a relationship behind your family is never easy. The more you grow up the more they talk about : 'when are you going to introduce him to the family' all I always do was smile and give some silly faces and move on with other topics. I am not pretty because I felt that ever since I got up with him, I gain weight. I know I don't have those S's curve that every girl dream of. All this while I've been call fat. Comments like you're fat, go lose weight. Things like EAT LESS FAT GIRL. I don't really care what other says because I like being myself. My boyfriend calls me fat. Mostly the people I know in this world calls me FAT. I don't mind, but when my boyfriend says that if I don't lose weight now I'm gonna be a fat girl at prom. I think he's just indirectly asking me to cut down my intake or just wants me to look a lil bit pretty. And for all the friends I know. They have pretty faces and it's plain and clean. Pretty hair, pretty smile but I still don't know why they call themselves ugly when there's TONS of boys wanting them to be their girls. Back to the boyfriend, I got kinda upset whenever I think that I only got notice when someone needed my help or something. I felt it from my boyfriend. I know we dont make a cute couple but still I love him. He's like always his friends first then only me. I couldn't understand why I'm always being place at last. Well maybe it's the fact that everyone can see I love him more than he loves me. I don't know but he's a great guy and I think it's worth to love someone who have been through so much with you. I don't really like to nag him because it makes me feel like I'm his granny or something. But the way he acts is somehow annoying than ever. I couldn't say no to him in front of everyone because he set some rules for me to follow. Have I ever thought of letting him go? I really don't know bout it. Since he never notice how much I've done for him and how much I've loved I think he finds someone that love him unconditionally but then what about me? I think I deserve more loves? Don't you think so? Everytime I bring up topics like something silly, he'll be mad or whatever. But when jealousy happens I somehow wants him to know how much I'm hurt deep down inside. He never knew it, because he never reads my blog. I somehow tears to bed and never even want to think about it and always tell myself to love him and just forget bout it. Why am I being the guy part in a relationship? Fairytales fake right? To me it's a yes. I really wonder have he ever thought about me when he's busy. Have he ever knew that the things he had done to me it's heartbreaking. I always got called the small gas. Yes, very. He said I should he more open. Everything he thinks is just small small matters but I was truly hurt inside and I want him to know but he refuse to listen. I didn't know or I wouldn't know how long would did last between me and him. I hope is as long as possible. As long as we could trust each other a 100% and live without cheating.

I guess that what I really wish for.
Not just that, the most I want is him to really learn how to care about my feelings even it's just a joke.

Yin