Being alone

Maybe I got used to going home early or obeying the rules set in my home but sometimes you know you just wish you can have a day out or a sleepover at someone's place for a day..

Mostly I'm home rather than out till late night with my friends. At first, it was hard for me to not feel left out because I am always the one that needs to be home on time. Until now, 19 and I am still worried to be home late, worried that I'll be punished for coming back late. After a few more times I just got use to it somehow. People go clubbing, partying or just having a drink with people is still much more fun than being me sitting in front of my computer to type about all these stuff. I used to have a terrible time dealing with this life but now it doesn't really bothers me anymore.

To just have the problem solved most of the time, I will just leave out the chances of going out because of the trouble I bring to people around me. I am a really troublesome girl, I got my license but I can never drive around alone until these days I am still not allow to do so. I remember that when my brother is 19 he's allow to go anywhere with his car but now I'm all a different case because I am a girl ( the best reason to keep you from going out ).

Sometimes being alone which people is having fun isn't that bad at all and being alone doesn't mean I am lonely, look at the bright side - I will never have to be worry about my transport, my mom yelling at me and my own safety. Just chilling in your own bed & watching your favourite YouTube videos is just cool enough for me. Rejecting outings because you don't want to bring any trouble to anyone I guess it take practices. I just wanted him to have more fun so that I won't need to interrupt him which he's having fun and turning him off like - I need to go.

It really breaks my heart sometimes when I come to think of this ; Every time I head out and wanted to have some fun I will always always always end up needing people to leave early. I know it doesn't feel good to just having people to cut off your happy mood like in a snap & this is why it's better to stay home than giving people troubles that they wouldn't have at the first place.

I know they are just trying to make me feel better by inviting me to here and there but I still bet that he will not have as much as when I am not there. Some things are better to left unsaid. I've got nice friends who's willing to sacrifice their time to send me home but how would you feel if you're in my position? Having someone to leave the party because you wanted to go home and now I always end up being alone during night because nobody's going to be free to entertain me and even my bf will be busy throughout the night.

I deal with this almost every single day and I am already immune to it. To have no left out feeling because I know even if I do it's not going to change a single thing. It's my last teen year and I am still living on a curfew.

End up, the nights you used to spend time with the person is no longer available and you got no one to talk to anymore, so you'll be here - in my position, blogging my own feelings. The things that I wanted to tell someone to who's long gone by now.

This is life isn't it? If you're not able to be part of it then you're out.

It's been a while..

Back to blogging
Everything have been perfectly smooth *not gonna jinx it*
Life is quite perfect for me right now..well, almost perfect I guess?
I have been waiting for my results to come & hopefully I will go through this just smoothly!

Had my London trip & I couldn't help but to miss the roast duck every single day.
So here's a picture of me and my cousin sister waiting to be call to have our food!
It's alwayssssss FULL of people.
Chinese, to be specific.

Not to forget the weight that I've put on.
Ughhh why does all the nice food have to be so fattening?
Oh well, at least I enjoyed tasting yummy food. HAHA why not?

So basically everywhere we head to we use the public transport but most of the time we'll be on the red double-decker bus.

Sadly, I have just screened through all the photos and I did not even take any picture of food except for our big breakfast! So here you goooo..

Big Breakfast it is!
4 pounds.
Don't you feel like an idiot for having big breakfast at home (MALAYSIA) because they charge you almost 50bucks for this.
Not to forget my all time favourite drink - Hot Chocolate

Being a typical tourist of course you'll visit the famous or the Tourist Spot- Places.
So I was pretty excited for Madame Tussauds  (30 pounds for the entry-fee) then I realize it was pretty dumb for taking pictures with wax statue but of course I did enjoyed myself!
Don't mind my outfit because this is just one of the days! LOL

The Picture Says It All.

A picture with the Royal Family? No problem. 

One of my favourite picture actually. 

To be continued to the Regents Park..

This just felt like heaven. 

The scenery of the whole park it's just pretty amazing!

Notice the chair I'm sitting on? Yea, it cost me (1.50 pounds) for an hour. 

Worth it! -TOTALLY.

Flowers everywhere!

Amaaaaazing isn't it?

That's enough for the park! 

It's time for the Buckingham Palace.

The changing of the guards!

I took a little effort to wear slightly a bit nicer than the normal days! LOL

It's quite chilly outside, so no point wearing nice everyday because you'll still choose your hoddie over any clothes!

So my web decided to crash and not allowing me to upload more pictures.
Guess I will have to stop here & continue the rest in the other post.

-Good Luck

Yin
11-7-2013

Merry Christmas!

It's the most wonderful time of the year! I have been really enjoying my holidays and my blog is not updated at all! Well, it's Christmas..the most relaxing time of the year. Apparently the world did not end and I am glad that I am still alive.

I have deal with quite a lot of shits this month but still I do not want to make this as a "gossip" blog. For the past weeks I have been hanging out & attending parties and dinners a lot! I wouldn't say I hate socializing but it somehow bored me. What else could probably make me much more happier when I am blessed with such a good guy in my life, not to forget my beautiful friends who always count me in on everything and they will just never forget about me.

So it's Christmas eve last 2 days and I went for karaoke with my friends + party at Jo's. It was just happiness and joy for the whole day & I would say this is my first year celebrating at my friend's house because normally brother will have his birthday party on the Christmas eve so my house will be filled with humans but too bad this year everyone is busy so the house is so quite. What have I really done for the past weeks and I was at Mid Valley for the whole week straight? Well I have been watching movies everyday when I get there! :/ it's scary how I am scare of entering the cinema ya know. I have watched most of the movies that's showing in cinemas but I couldn't believe that my favorite movie would be the 3 hours one "The Hobbit" although I do not watch every chapter of Lord Of The Rings but this movie is "precious". Life Of Pi was good too but I do not know why I am expecting a little bit more from it though. Not to forget Jackie Chan's last movie CZ12 ( Chinese Zodiac 12 ) it was so "Jackie Chan" LOL but still it was a really awesome Kung Fu movie I would said. Wreck it Ralph was good too! Ahhh there's just too many movies in a week but I am really loving each and everyone of it!

I guess that really do sums up where I spend my time the most during the past week! :D I have  never been more broke in my life..because it's Christmas I find that everybody will find an excuse to spend a little bit more money than usual days! Is that really true? It's the most relaxing time of the year and everyone just want to enjoy every single bit of the Christmas feel! Awwww, you know what's the best part of this Christmas? It's by just hanging out with my boyfriend for the whole week! <3 after="after" am="am" couldn="couldn" describe="describe" guy="guy" how="how" i="i" in="in" is="is" long.="long." love="love" loved.="loved." nbsp="nbsp" p="p" so="so" t="t" that="that">
Everyone in the Goh family is back from overseas just to join in the fun. Tonight was definitely one of the best cousins or family reunion day! ;) Done the photo shoot today for the family portrait as it is a tradition that we will do every single year! It's obvious that everyone lost weight but I am still gaining weight. :(
I feel like a giant sometimes but I am a food person so there's nothing I could do about not having the delicious food and I have to force myself to workout from now on!

I am here wishing each and everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year just in case I would not be free to blog about it! A healthy & wealthy life ahead! 

Be thankful 20-12

Back to blogging! I have been quite lazy these few days because there's nothing to blog or it's too productive that I don't even want to switch on my computer at all! I haven't been really starting on my revision for my A2 exam next year I think I am going to regret it on the exam days again! I am so lazy that I don't even feel like having tuitions during the holidays.

I do miss having breakfast with my friends but still I prefer to stay home instead.
For the first time in my 18 years life this really felt like a holiday! :D currently in college right now so I do not have any homework to do unlike those primary & secondary kids! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

This Friday will be the end of the world?
I don't really believe it but I don't know I guess we will see what is going to happen on the 21st.
There is this little problem in me where I do not like people who use this "FML" thingy I assume you know what it means..I do understand that I have no rights to talk about other people or stop someone from saying it because everyone got their own freedom. As for the reason I do not like this "FML" thingy, it's because that I think we are consider the super lucky ones as compared to other less fortunate people in this world. When you are here busy complaining on what's happening to your life, just tiny tiny tiny bits of stuff that doesn't even matter and not realizing that someone out there is suffering and fighting for their last breath.
Do you know how fortunate you are? For that moment when you are tweeting / facebook-ing about your "stupid" life you are a 100% luckier than someone who is suffering in hunger.
I don't get why am I so angry on people that doesn't appreciate their life or having to always complain about this and that, I just want to slap them across the face and ask them to be clear on how fortunate they are. I am not aiming this post at anyone because most of the people I know almost use this every single day. I can swear I have never use one of the "FML" term at all except it kinda appears quite numerous time in this post. Just by looking at people suffer really do breaks my heart especially knowing that there is nothing you can do to help! I guess I am all chill after saying what I wanted to for quite a long time.

So..back to topic, are you ready for the end of the world?
If the world is really coming to an end I will feel a little bit scare & of course sad it's all because that I wouldn't be able to live and do the things that I wanted to when I am all grown up. I am kinda scare of losing my family because they have always been the first priority in my life! Without my family, I am nobody.
I have tried to cherish each and everyday of my life but of course life is never going to be perfect, you will have your break down moment and stuff but look at the bright side, when time passes everything will be okay after all. Well, it's all planned by God, whatever happens, happens for a reason so be thankful for what you have today & hug someone you love because nobody knows what is going to happen tomorrow.

20-12-2012

Hello..

Didn't want to have any specific topic for this post today just so that I can type and post whatever I want on the internet.

I am super afraid of what's is going to happen to my family, my friends, my love ones after I heard the news about this Newtown gunman kills 20 children in elementary school shooting this world that we are living in much more scary than a horror movie, when they said only monsters exist in movie but now that I realize there is monster everywhere! I do not know why, or how he can pull the trigger when it's just a 5 years old child starring at you. I am now sending my deepest condolence to every family who had lost the one they love and I am deeply sorry for that you have to go through this situation. It just hurts me by looking at those shared post on Facebook and Twitter because I didn't know why human can do such cruel things especially taking people's lives away! Every single one deserves to live their life and you should know that there is no way you can just destroy something precious like that. 

Nobody will ever know what is going to happen on the very next second or minute, appreciate what you have and hug the ones you love today because you will never ever get a chance again if there's something happen to them.

Now I didn't want to make this post sad an dull, so we should just move on and pray for the family who lost their lost ones.

I had a lot of things I wanted to blog about today but after telling what happened above it just stops me from blogging non sense I do not know why I am feeling sad and moody but I guess it is normal to feel that way after knowing what had happen to this world.

As I have always remind myself to always be thankful for what I have been given and blessed and I truly appreciate every single moment in life because I realize whatever we are complaining it doesn't even matter anymore after looking at the lives that have been taken away from a man.

Guess I couldn't make myself blog about anything else today because it doesn't matter anymore so I will stop here & hopefully tomorrow will be better.

                                

Holidays!

Yes, I am finally having and starting to enjoy my holidays! I have missed out on blogging for the past 2 days as I have been freaking busy with house cores! This is all because my daddy is coming back and the whole house must be squeky clean :/

12.12.12 was amazing! Spent the night with  my loves as usual at the new "HOT'' place idarts hex :D
Hate to admit that it was really really addictive! This time I am not the only girl who went! Finally get to meet up with Lynn as she has been gone for God knows where.

It was the worse day for someone I guess, and it was happy hour and I didn't know that we will end up drinking this much & I did felt tipsy then I couldn't walk straight anymore.
I was drunk but I clearly knows what I am doing for the whole night. I don't know if I really did called someone and end up being an asshole to him, I really do feel bad and whatever I have heard him saying to me today I felt that it's kinda "made up". Everyone knows I am in a relationship and I will only love the one that is with me right now, I never flirt because it's always disrespectful or you can just say that I am cheating on my lovely boyfriend. I will never do that to him because I know that there's not gonna be someone like him, who doesn't smoke, doesn't drink and doesn't flirt ; all of these had kept me loving him so much each and everyday! I will not give up this relationship unless he doesn't have feelings for me anymore.
I am the kind of person that can chat with you but I will not fall or flirt with you because I know that I shouldn't and I cannot do that to someone who truly loves me.
Because everything he told me this morning is kinda exaggerating and I kinda want to back off a little bit.

Does people always take advantage of you?
Why do you still go after someone that has already find their true partner? ( I am not saying that I do not want any market value but it's good to have some? ) LOL I am just curious why do people still go after someone that is already in a relationship.

Yesterday night was tragic because getting hurt like this is really the pain that you have to suck it all in and not having to break down in front of everyone and it's even worse when you are a guy.
Being a nice guy will only be the one that is getting hurt, of course you'll still be loved by your friends.
Alcohol will be your best buddy for the time being. I have always wondered why people drink so much as they don't even care whether their kidney is gonna spoil or whatever shit, after I have been through yesterday I felt it myself that consuming alcohol will get you into a state that you forget who you are and just starting to live in your own world & it's also a state where you get "high''.

I am not saying alcoholics are going to die faster it's just that now I know what's the feeling of really being drunk. I don't like being control and my boyfriend really did not tend to stop me and I was quite surprise.

There is nothing special to blog about today, just doing something like a "daily diary". I do not know what to say when someone really finds out I am back to blogging and I guess you really are a true STALKER? :)

Guess I will be signing off here, xoxo.
13.12.12

Monday Blues

It's another new week in college again because I only slept for 4 hours yesterday night and I am totally dead this morning! Trying so hard to sleep in college but the tables & chairs are so uncomfortable :/

I didn't know what to blog today and I realize that blogging is not really typing out a diary it's about how you want to talk about something or some specific topic not some personal stuff, of course that doesn't mean you can't do a blog like it's your personal diary but too public for a dairy? Although nobody reads or knows I am back to blogging now. I seems to enjoy every bit of blogging! I didn't know why and what makes me want to blog..
What shall be today's topic? 

Understandings

I bet most teenagers are dating nowadays and so am I but it really doesn't matter whether you're in a relationship or just single (nobodycares) LOL because being the nice girlfriend is hard that's why sometimes relationship don't work out sometimes.

Girls,
Some girls, just some girls including myself always tend to think a lot until I created some problems which is not even there at the first place & then we argue and end up being lonely and mad for the whole night not to forget wasting tears all night long. This is nature (I personally think so) woman are the sexiest living thing on earth I bet? Which makes the reason why men goes for girls one after another because everyone is beautiful in their own way.
But lets make things clear,
IT'S NOT OKAY WHEN YOU HAVE MORE THAN ONE GIRLFRIEND UNLESS SHE ACCEPTS THE 3RD PARTY.
I am not trying to say that I am not someone who knows everything about WOMEN or GIRLS I am just trying to say what's on my mind. Boys, or I shall say men should take the time to let the ones they love knows that he will always be there for her because insecurities really do spoils the whole relationship.

I can say that I am not a "control-freak" as you want to know every single thing or just to stop him from doing this or doing that because the other way round you wouldn't want him telling you to do this and that. We all have need freedom! Always checking on him isn't a good thing, if he really is not being loyal or cheating on you I guess everything it's not going to worth your time anytime.
By saying of course it is easy, but when you're going through this whole "recovery" process minutes feels like years. I am not even joking because I've been there and I know it's super hard especially when you're hiding it from your family.

Girls tend to cry more than boys a 100times sorry but this is hell true!
It's not because we are cry babies it's just because the ones that we love turns out to be the ones that hurt us the most. Being a protective boyfriend is good but not overprotective (it's annoying)
Girls, please know where you stand in his "pack" schedule.
If he's not making time for you or always having excuses to bring you out for a date I think we might have a problem with that! I don't mean it's a must to see him every freaking day but at least (the very very very very least) once a month? LOL I don't know how if I am being put into this situation where I only get to see my boyfriend once a month maybe it is possible when he's a really busy pilot or whatever that he will never be in his own country for more than 1 week then I don't think I can kept this relationship going on.
I don't mean that dating a pilot or just so happen your love is overseas studying or working overseas will never happens to work out in a relationship, if you're able to go through it then I bet it's going to be true love.
I am 18 this year and I have been dating my current boyfriend when I was just 14 :) We grew up together and of course we have been through ups and downs and nobody said that every relationship is easy!
We have already gotten into the comfort zone where we don't mind telling each other everything and we don't lie, flirt and cheat. That's the point and this is what makes me loves him so much.

Personally I think the boy's family is much more easier to accept when he told his family he got a girlfriend as compared to a girl's family unless you have a really (open-minded) family. Being (open-minded) meaning they accept and know that this is the fact and nothing is going to change so they will never go against it.
Being honest is good, sometimes people just have to accept the fact that not every parent can accept their daughter or son dating in an early age. Keeping (personal stuff) away from your parents is normal to me, I think like that because we need our own space somehow just so you know by all those "personal stuff" I don't mean by gambling or doing drugs or ...

I do not know which status people prefer to be in and I don't care too. The most important thing is that you yourself know what you want for your life because nobody is going to take responsibility when you get hurt.
If you're being with someone that couldn't even accept you then there's no point trying to work this shit out. How can you ever date someone who never can accept the original you?

You are beautiful no matter what status you're in because..

xoxo,
10-12-12

Perfection

Another weekend is gone but still I find it the most enjoyable and relaxing one!
I guess I really do miss my dad a lot! I think of him so much and I couldn't help but to keep it to myself. I never want to let my mom know that I am upset about it..I didn't know what to do but to blog it.

Perfection,
This word should never exist same goes to "forever" ! There will never be forever and nothing is ever going to be perfect. You can never have perfection because this is what life does to you! Nobody will ever have the perfect face, body, skin and etc. I will never have a perfect life. Things have been going well lately, I survive when someone out there is fighting for their life and I get to be loved by my family each and every single day when someone don't even have parents to take care of them. I don't know how thankful I am everyday and whenever life knocks me down I just said to myself to always be thankful. I  might not be the prettiest person or the richest human in this world but I will still live my life to the every single bit of it. There's always ups and downs, problems problems and problems! Different people with different attitude and you know it when you're just able to deal with anyone even when they give you hard times because you've learn to be mature in a way and to stay out of problems in another way.
I am nobody to this world because I only stand a small part of it. I tried to make the best out of everything I could but every time it tends to fail or turns into a much more worse situation. Always being kind doesn't mean always having the "good stuff " back! In fact I was trying to be nice to everyone even though they pissed me off somehow. I told myself that I can never be mad at them for the rest of my life because nobody knows what is going to happen for the next minute. Everyone will die one day, it's just the matter of time. Life is too short to be sad! No matter what happens we move on, life goes on.
Selfish people, control freak, mean girls and assholes..
Everyone is different! " You can NEVER please society " this is a guarantee!
I do not know what makes me want to blog about this or maybe today I've came across something and makes me never want to look at the person the same way ever again.
I learn to respect people and I never want to break any relationship! My family, my friends and my boyfriend.

Everything will come to an end one day, if you live life with no regrets then you know that you've appreciate every moment you've spent with your love ones.
I always want karma to do something but in the end when I knew karma strikes I really feel bad about it and I told myself I would never want it to happen again.
Not everyone likes you, it's just the same you will never like your enemies, and you know what? they exist for a reason.
Think about it and what makes you have enemies. I personally think I do not have any enemies now but I cannot guarantee everyone likes me.
Haters gonna hate, loves gonna love. Why bother thinking of ways to kill your enemies when you have someone loving every single day.
Think about it, is it all worth while?

9-12-12

HEINEKEN THIRST 2012

HEINEKEN THIRST 2012

I don't count myself as a guest attending this event but overall I was just there to do a survey from the party people. My first time working until 2am :/ I think it's worth it because I've learn to be brave and understand the meaning of  " hard earn money ".. 

Now I know that working is much more painful than studying. You don't really earn much in a day which is just by trying your luck whether people wants to "layan" you a not. It wasn't easy at ALL but there's still buddies there to work with me especially my boy taking care of me for the past 12 hours.

The prices of beverages had gone to an insane level! RM10 for a can of Coke and RM15 for a can of Heineken! What the shit is this? Everything starts from RM10 and above and there's no food at all! I can't believe I wasn't even hungry for the past 12 hours by just having a pan mee in the noon! 

I can say that I really did not put much effort on it by really having the guts to approach people especially when it's a GROUP of youngster drinking whiskey in the evening! People taking a little advantage of you :/

Somehow I still get to enjoy myself and I even got into the VIP stage with  my friends. :D

A clear view of the stage! At first I thought it's gonna be so boring because there's only DJ playing the music but actually this is much more fun than a normal concert! I swear everyone was so freaking high with their beer! 

Andrew's mommy was really kind enough to help me find some people to let us do the survey! Well after all I was there not for the money but to gain some experience :)

I can see how one party of Heineken's can bring in so much profit! I bet there's more than 6,000 humans in there! I see girls with pretty pretty faces and a pretty pretty slim legs + a pretty pretty flat tummy!

Too sexy, just too SEXAAAAYYYYY!

Well baby drove me home and I am dead tired but don't know why still wanting to blog for myself as I have 0 viewers at all! LOL 

So my first paid job is tired + 9 hours of walking and standing! 

I can't ever imagine myself doing it again or maybe I will with a much more higher pay! 

Nahh, all I want to do is just sleep and freaking let my legs rest for like the whole night! 

Signing off,

8-12-12

       

Last Friday Night

Hanging out with the same people last Friday night and I wasn't really enjoying myself today. I was just in a bad mood for the whole day! I didn't know how to express myself but I tend to always release my anger to my sweetie boy & now I feel so bad about it.

Well, I've always wanted and creating events to just hang out with my group of friends! The biggggg gang! I really do miss them a lot but seems like everyone is so busy and just ignore me. I don't mind being the one who always make the move! People do cross the line somehow :/

I have always said this, people will always change and leave, whatever shits they said will not be remembered now! I really miss my daddy a lot these few days wishing I could see him earlier :( Christmas is just around the corner and I won't even get a chance to hang out with my friends this year again..

That awesome moment is when you skip college and the lecturer is not going in class also! Wahh today really  is my lucky day :) 

Went movies with my buddies today ( Wreck it Ralph ) I think overall it was awesome but just my mood that spoils the whole night! 

I don't really know if my mom likes it when my friends come over for mah jong but she don't really seem to mind but somehow I felt like I upset her quite a lot lately! :( 

Ahhhh, it's been a long long day and tomorrow will be my first job @ sepang hopefully everything goes well and we could just go home early! :D 

Signing off :

8-12-12