19.12

I dont know what's worse than this feeling. I don't know what I really want now.
But all I want is just to have a break for myself for falling too much on a guy.
This post is for no one.
Is something I see quite often in my life.

People starts to walk away from my life.
People starts to change and will never be like the same.
People pretends everything is gonna be fine when they know it's not.
People deny things even everyone knows the truth.

I think I changed, I dont feel like talking, I don't feel like faking smiles to everyone just to prove that im fine.
All I want is just stay close to my family.
I only wana hang out with my world best friend.
I only feel like talking to people who treat me serious and never turn their back on me.
I dont want to cling to my BF.
I don't know what happen to me.
I dont use to be like that.
Selfish, stupid and revengeful.
I guess that's not my stuff anymore.
I feel like seeing my dad right now, I dont want to wait another day and wait for the fucking time pass.
I don't want to face another terrible day.
I know I sound like a shit right now, i think I'm just not happy about myself.
This is not me.
I use to be happy, laughing & fooling around with everyone.
No, tears dropping every single night,
Even tho I end the day with happiness and I got so moody yet Idontknow why.
I think it's non of my boyfriend business.
It's just me being a retard.
A girl who's not even mature to learn to let go.
I'll be so childish and find ways to make one stay or talk to me longer.
Do not have to give me hint telling me you're not in a mood for something.
Because you're acting is bad.
I don't wana let others drag me in with their life. I'm slow enough to catch up.
I just want to learn to let go and not to hold back EVERYTHING.
Girls, you're pretty, super pretty!
Don't let some jerks make your life miserable. Because even before you met them, you're more than perfect.
I don't know will this promise last.
I probably won't get to see my love until January 7th 2012.
So, have a great time and always take good care of yourself.
I'll try to make myself happy without you.

This is just not me, I dont want to spoil people happiness.

Baby, sorry I don't reply you.

* I love you and always remember to take care. *

Just have an awesome time.
Party like you're single.

Don't have to worry about me because I'll have activities for myself too.
Just take care.

I'll always love you like you do.

Xoxo,
Yin